A Black Dahlia Legacy Zoom Interview (Debut/Dark Match)
Mar 6, 2023 10:10:04 GMT
REQUIEM Puroresu, Nijima, and 1 more like this
Post by Diana Watts on Mar 6, 2023 10:10:04 GMT
Miracle Galaxy Pro wrestler Diana Watts is young, tough and ready for the big push in the business. She signed with the all women Japanese company earlier this weekend. She can't help but to look over her contract that she got a copy of and printed off. So much in fact she had it framed for her single room apartment in Ohio. Diana smiled at it as she prepared her morning coffee. Then she received a video call on her laptop. It's from her father-slash-manager. She rushes over and answers.
Diana Watts
Dad, why are you calling me this early? Is something wrong? Did mom get stuck in the doggy door again? Should I get the glue remover?
Dillon Watts
Hey sweetie. Glue remover? Um, no she's fine I think... And why no makeup? You look very tired. You hung over? I mean you should really pretty yourself up for these calls. But before we get started I just wanted to congratulate you AGAIN on the Miracle Galaxy Pro job. You know the deal I help get you... remember that?
Diana Wats
Yes... I know. Thanks for helping with that dad. Um, what do you mean before we get started and...
Dillon Watts(cutting her off)
So when are we going to Japan? You're booked for that dark match against some no name McGoo at the MGP Straight On 'Til Morning show. Again, you're welcome for that too...
~He laughs as he chugs down his beer. Diana looks confused.~
Diana Watts
Dad... why are you pounding beers at 9am? Little early don't you think? And yes, I know about my match. I'm in it. You don't have to keep reminding me. Why are you video calling me? What is going on? Is this like some weird intervention for me, again? I am NOT a lesbian. And if I were it... wouldn't be a big deal... it's 2023, gay is okay. Are you drunk? Do I need to pick you up at the police station later?
Dillon Watts
Working on it. Ha! Just kidding. Nah, just celebrating, hun! Already on my fifth brew. You should get hammered drunk with me though. Once we hit Japan you can't be drinking that much you know... gotta stay in shape to make it on top. Come have a beer with your old man.
Diana Watts
No thanks, dad. Trying to slow down the BEER intake because of that exact reason. Need to be physically and mentally able to compete at any moment. Gotta be on my toes. Aaaaand about US going to Japan... I was thinking maybe...
Dillon Watts
... maybe we should get KFC for supper to celebrate? Read my mind.
Diana Watts
That... does sound good. Greasy. That would clean me out completely and save me doing an enema later on. But good. But no... I was thinking that...
Dillon Watts
Thinking we should buy some balloons with our KFC? Are you sure you're not a mind reader, Professor X!? Ha ha.
Diana Watts
Nice X-Men reference! I am more like a sexy Jean Grey thought.
DIana winks as her dad looks confused.
Dillon Watts
Jean who?
Diana Watts (sighing)
Never mind. But I was thinking more like maybe I should go alone to...
Dillon Watts
Alone? To KFC? Who will help you pop the balloons after we come back from the restrooms? Remember when you were 14 and me, you and your mother went there for your birthday. And you threw a tantrum because you were going through that veggie faze. It was so adorable "Daddy, daddy! I'm a vegetarian, now. I don't wanna eat dead chickens, daddy.' Stomping your feet and pouting.
Diana Watts
Yes dad and...
Dillon Watts
And I had a serious buzz on from after working a double shift at the construction yard and I stood up shouting 'My daughter has mental health problems, people! She doesn't eat meat! She's a whack-a-doo!" as I did the cabbage patch dance as everyone in the restaurant laughed and cheered. Your mother was crying in tears saying something like 'Dillon you're making a scene!' and then I force fed both your crying faces the chicken tenders until the KFC manager asked us to leave!
Diana Watts (sips her coffee nodding)
How could I forget... one of my 'favorite' memories from my childhood. But you forgot the police report. The divorce from mom. And you suspension from work. Yep... Good times.
Dillon Watts (laughing)
Hey if you wanna make gravy you have to add in... a lot gravy mix. Whatever... It was great! Let's do it again after this call with the Black Dahlia Legacy lady...
Diana Watts (comically spits out her coffee)
Whaaaaaa? Huh? What does that mean? You ARE drunk. I nearly peed myself, dad. Stop drinking or you will urinate your pants too...
Dillon Watts
Ha! Good one... But seriously. The Black Dahlia Legacy. It's one of the factions in Miracle Galaxy Pro. Hun, you're joining the company... you should do some research.
Diana Watts (rolls her eyes)
I KNOW that the Black Dahlia Legacy is, dad. But why is there a video call happening? I am not prepared for this... I'm in my pajamas ! Why didn't you give me a heads up?
Dillon Watts
And you look like a turnip, babe. Sorry. But I did tell you...
Diana Watts
No you didn't... when?
Dillon Watts
Just... now? Like a minute ago...?
Diana Watts
Jesus Christ... Should I shower first? Put on that blouse mom let me borrow? I didn't brush my teeth yet. Wait she can't smell me... right? Should I have my resume ready? What the hell do I?
Dillon Watts
Maybe a little foundation and lipstick if you got any? We may not have time, thought. Youshould really doll yourself up before these meetings, hun. You're an adult now. You look like you're a turnip...
Diana Watts
You've used that one already...
Dillon Watts
Wait... i wasn't finished. A turnip in an old catcher's mitt.
@sharonbdl has entered the call
Diana hides her face and looks back nervously as a well dressed Japanese woman appears.
Dillon Watts
Hello miss. Are you the secretary of ... um... Sah-ah... um... Sah-ah-key Endough...
Diana sighs
Diana Watts
Sayaka Endo, Dad. We're going to be under her faction. Her stable. Maybe you should get her name right? I am sorry about that miss and...
Dillon Watts (cutting her off)
Endo. Endoo. Endee. Whoop-de-da-doo. Doesn't matter, hun. We're in the deep end now. It's sink or swim time. And I am not drowning today. I got my floater on. Hi, miss. You're cute by the way. You single miss... um... I bet your name probably something exotic and sex too, right? Wait maybe she doesn't speak English...
Diana Watts
Please kill me... dad if we NEED to speak slower we can. Sorry about that...
Sharon Lee
Um. Not a problem. Hi. I am Sharon Lee. I work for Sayaka Endo of the Black Dahlia Legacy. Ms. Endo is very busy and looks forward to finally meeting you Diana...
Dillon Watts
And I am Dillon Watts. I'm her father and manager. We chatted earlier on the phone... sorry about the English thing. Sometimes my mouth fart out things my brain doesn't have time to catch.
Dillon makes a fart noise with his mouth.
Sharon Lee
Yes. Thank you Mr. Watts... so Diana. Just a few quick questions so Ms Endo will know you are on the same page as her and the rest of the faction.
Diana Watts
Sure. Absolutely Miss Lee. Fart away... speak away I mean... brain fart. Sorry.
Dillon makes another fart noise with his mouth while laughing.
Sharon Lee
Ok, Diana. Do you consider yourself a shooter in the ring? A stiff striker? If not how would you describe yourself?
Diana Watts
I am more of a brawler. But like a shooter and striker, I will do what it takes to win in the end. And I believe Ms. Endo will appreciate that.
Sharon Lee
Very good.
Diana's father begins cheering on his daughter cracking open another beer.
Dillon Watts
OH YEAH! DIANA! GOOD ANSWER, SWEETIE!
Sharon Lee
Do you have the killer instinct to survive not only in the Black Dahlia Legacy but also the competitive nature that is Miracle Galaxy Pro?
Dillon Watts
That's a good question... good freaking question, Sharon.
Diana Watts
I would say...
Dillon Watts
GOOD! QUESTION! Diana, hun. You got this...
Diana Watts
Dad. Please. Shut up. Um, Sharon. I believe I do. And I am aware of the talent landscape is large in MGP. But as I am still learning my craft and skill inside the ring, I think in time I can be a strong ingredient in the Black Dahlia Legacy stew...
Sharon Lee
Stew, huh? Interesting...
Diana Watts
Um... it doesn't have to be a stew... bologna-potato hash?
Dillon Watts upsettingly spits out his beer.
Oh god. Ohhhhh god. You blew it, Diana. SHould have said an ingredient in the hidden masterpiece recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken skins...
Diana Watts
Um, Miss Lee, can I change my answer to KFC skins?
Dillon Watts (panicking)
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE, SHARON! WE WILL DO ANYTHING! I WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU! I WILL LET YOU DO THINGS TO ME! INSIDE ME! PLEASE....
Sharon Lee
No, no. It's fine... um... stew is fine...
Dillon and Diana look relieved.
Diana Watts
Close one...
Dillon Watts
I nearly pissed myself there...
Diana Watts
Dad, don't be crude. But same here...
Sharon Lee
Um... last question, Miss Watts. Ms Endo is very serious about this faction. You wouldn't do anything bizarre in the way of comedy or humor to embarrass us, right?
Diana and her father go quiet for a second.
Diana Watts
Comedy? Humor? Never. I am strictly business, ma'am. I promise. 100% serious. Always...
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! WHOO WHOO WHOO! by Baha Men plays from Diana's cell phone ring tone. She quickly grabs it and answers it.
Diana Watts
Excuse me, Sharon. Sorry about this... Um... Hello?
It's her father on the other end.
Dillon Watts
Should we abort? I think she's on to us... we botched this one. We botched it... abort, abort...
Diana Watts
Ssssshh, dad. She can hear everything we're saying... be cool. We got this... remember the horrible things you've done in the Vietnam war? I remember the stories you would tell me when you put me to bed as a young girl. You'd tell me things like 'We used dead babies as kindling.' or 'how you held your best good friend Bubba in your arms as he died.' We can handle a tour of Japan, dad if you lived through that we can do this...
Dillon Watts
Yeeeeah... about those stories...
Diana Watts
What about them?
Dillon Watts
Those are from movies, hun. I kind of pretended they were my own stories but they weren't true. I wasn't old enough to go to Vietnam war. All that is from Tom Hanks movies...
Diana Watts
What about you being a shrimp boat captain? And showing your ass to President Ford? Or.. or.. the time you were a cop and forced to be partners with a pit-bull?
Dillon Watts
Ugh... those are things Tom Hanks did. I did almost win 500 dollars for eating 4 pounds of shrimp in an hour...
Diana Watts
No that wasn't you, that was some local old Mexican guy.
Dillon Watts
Pedro did do that didn't he? Dammit...
Sharon Lee looks on confused as the two talk on the phone with their backs to the cam.
Sharon Lee
Um, Watts'? Is everything ok?
Diana Watts turns around turning off her phone.
Diana Watts
Um, sorry about that. It was my doctor. Dr. Phil McGraw.
Sharon Lee
The American television personality?
Diana Watts
Oh... you've seen it? Um, Dr... Tim... McGraw?
Dillon Watts turns around too facing the cam again.
Dillon Watts
Sorry about that, ladies. Had to make an emergency phone call. Turns out I have the dirty aids. And my lawyer, Mr. Denzel Washington is gonna go into a court battle for me to get what I earned!
Dillon winks into the camera. Diana sighs.
Diana Watts
Dad... we can all see you winking.
Dillon Watts
DAMMIT!
Sharon Lee
I think I have enough here. Good luck in Japan, Miss Watts. Ms. Endo will be watching very closely to your Straight On Til Morning dark match. I am sure she will be very pleased to have you in her faction. Well... I hope she is pleased anyway. I wouldn't want to be on her bad side.
Sharon laughs.
Sharon Lee
Take care and good luck, Diana. Bye.
Sharon ends her call. Diana and Dillon look relieved for it to be over.
Dillon Watts
THAT! Was a close one, hun.
Diana Watts
You're telling me. I almost peed myself again...
Dillon Watts
Almost? Hell my pants are soaked right. This Sayaka Endo leader woman seems fierce. Fierce enough to make me piss myself.
Diana Watts
It might be the beer too, dad.
Dillon Watts chugging another bottle down.
Dillon Watts
Doubtful. So... wanna celebrate? KFC? I will sneak in my booze in a Mountain Dew bottle like the old days.
Diana Watts (smiles)
You know what? I'd love too. Just... change your pants and maybe shower too first. I'll pick you up in like 40 minutes... we can discuss the trip to Japan...
Dillon Watts (smiles)
I'd like that very much... and Diana..
Diana Watts
I know, dad. I love you too.
Dillon Watts
No... put some make up on, sweetie. You don't wanna look like a turnip do you? See you soon.
Diana frowns as the video call feed ends.
Diana Watts
Dad, why are you calling me this early? Is something wrong? Did mom get stuck in the doggy door again? Should I get the glue remover?
Dillon Watts
Hey sweetie. Glue remover? Um, no she's fine I think... And why no makeup? You look very tired. You hung over? I mean you should really pretty yourself up for these calls. But before we get started I just wanted to congratulate you AGAIN on the Miracle Galaxy Pro job. You know the deal I help get you... remember that?
Diana Wats
Yes... I know. Thanks for helping with that dad. Um, what do you mean before we get started and...
Dillon Watts(cutting her off)
So when are we going to Japan? You're booked for that dark match against some no name McGoo at the MGP Straight On 'Til Morning show. Again, you're welcome for that too...
~He laughs as he chugs down his beer. Diana looks confused.~
Diana Watts
Dad... why are you pounding beers at 9am? Little early don't you think? And yes, I know about my match. I'm in it. You don't have to keep reminding me. Why are you video calling me? What is going on? Is this like some weird intervention for me, again? I am NOT a lesbian. And if I were it... wouldn't be a big deal... it's 2023, gay is okay. Are you drunk? Do I need to pick you up at the police station later?
Dillon Watts
Working on it. Ha! Just kidding. Nah, just celebrating, hun! Already on my fifth brew. You should get hammered drunk with me though. Once we hit Japan you can't be drinking that much you know... gotta stay in shape to make it on top. Come have a beer with your old man.
Diana Watts
No thanks, dad. Trying to slow down the BEER intake because of that exact reason. Need to be physically and mentally able to compete at any moment. Gotta be on my toes. Aaaaand about US going to Japan... I was thinking maybe...
Dillon Watts
... maybe we should get KFC for supper to celebrate? Read my mind.
Diana Watts
That... does sound good. Greasy. That would clean me out completely and save me doing an enema later on. But good. But no... I was thinking that...
Dillon Watts
Thinking we should buy some balloons with our KFC? Are you sure you're not a mind reader, Professor X!? Ha ha.
Diana Watts
Nice X-Men reference! I am more like a sexy Jean Grey thought.
DIana winks as her dad looks confused.
Dillon Watts
Jean who?
Diana Watts (sighing)
Never mind. But I was thinking more like maybe I should go alone to...
Dillon Watts
Alone? To KFC? Who will help you pop the balloons after we come back from the restrooms? Remember when you were 14 and me, you and your mother went there for your birthday. And you threw a tantrum because you were going through that veggie faze. It was so adorable "Daddy, daddy! I'm a vegetarian, now. I don't wanna eat dead chickens, daddy.' Stomping your feet and pouting.
Diana Watts
Yes dad and...
Dillon Watts
And I had a serious buzz on from after working a double shift at the construction yard and I stood up shouting 'My daughter has mental health problems, people! She doesn't eat meat! She's a whack-a-doo!" as I did the cabbage patch dance as everyone in the restaurant laughed and cheered. Your mother was crying in tears saying something like 'Dillon you're making a scene!' and then I force fed both your crying faces the chicken tenders until the KFC manager asked us to leave!
Diana Watts (sips her coffee nodding)
How could I forget... one of my 'favorite' memories from my childhood. But you forgot the police report. The divorce from mom. And you suspension from work. Yep... Good times.
Dillon Watts (laughing)
Hey if you wanna make gravy you have to add in... a lot gravy mix. Whatever... It was great! Let's do it again after this call with the Black Dahlia Legacy lady...
Diana Watts (comically spits out her coffee)
Whaaaaaa? Huh? What does that mean? You ARE drunk. I nearly peed myself, dad. Stop drinking or you will urinate your pants too...
Dillon Watts
Ha! Good one... But seriously. The Black Dahlia Legacy. It's one of the factions in Miracle Galaxy Pro. Hun, you're joining the company... you should do some research.
Diana Watts (rolls her eyes)
I KNOW that the Black Dahlia Legacy is, dad. But why is there a video call happening? I am not prepared for this... I'm in my pajamas ! Why didn't you give me a heads up?
Dillon Watts
And you look like a turnip, babe. Sorry. But I did tell you...
Diana Watts
No you didn't... when?
Dillon Watts
Just... now? Like a minute ago...?
Diana Watts
Jesus Christ... Should I shower first? Put on that blouse mom let me borrow? I didn't brush my teeth yet. Wait she can't smell me... right? Should I have my resume ready? What the hell do I?
Dillon Watts
Maybe a little foundation and lipstick if you got any? We may not have time, thought. Youshould really doll yourself up before these meetings, hun. You're an adult now. You look like you're a turnip...
Diana Watts
You've used that one already...
Dillon Watts
Wait... i wasn't finished. A turnip in an old catcher's mitt.
@sharonbdl has entered the call
Diana hides her face and looks back nervously as a well dressed Japanese woman appears.
Dillon Watts
Hello miss. Are you the secretary of ... um... Sah-ah... um... Sah-ah-key Endough...
Diana sighs
Diana Watts
Sayaka Endo, Dad. We're going to be under her faction. Her stable. Maybe you should get her name right? I am sorry about that miss and...
Dillon Watts (cutting her off)
Endo. Endoo. Endee. Whoop-de-da-doo. Doesn't matter, hun. We're in the deep end now. It's sink or swim time. And I am not drowning today. I got my floater on. Hi, miss. You're cute by the way. You single miss... um... I bet your name probably something exotic and sex too, right? Wait maybe she doesn't speak English...
Diana Watts
Please kill me... dad if we NEED to speak slower we can. Sorry about that...
Sharon Lee
Um. Not a problem. Hi. I am Sharon Lee. I work for Sayaka Endo of the Black Dahlia Legacy. Ms. Endo is very busy and looks forward to finally meeting you Diana...
Dillon Watts
And I am Dillon Watts. I'm her father and manager. We chatted earlier on the phone... sorry about the English thing. Sometimes my mouth fart out things my brain doesn't have time to catch.
Dillon makes a fart noise with his mouth.
Sharon Lee
Yes. Thank you Mr. Watts... so Diana. Just a few quick questions so Ms Endo will know you are on the same page as her and the rest of the faction.
Diana Watts
Sure. Absolutely Miss Lee. Fart away... speak away I mean... brain fart. Sorry.
Dillon makes another fart noise with his mouth while laughing.
Sharon Lee
Ok, Diana. Do you consider yourself a shooter in the ring? A stiff striker? If not how would you describe yourself?
Diana Watts
I am more of a brawler. But like a shooter and striker, I will do what it takes to win in the end. And I believe Ms. Endo will appreciate that.
Sharon Lee
Very good.
Diana's father begins cheering on his daughter cracking open another beer.
Dillon Watts
OH YEAH! DIANA! GOOD ANSWER, SWEETIE!
Sharon Lee
Do you have the killer instinct to survive not only in the Black Dahlia Legacy but also the competitive nature that is Miracle Galaxy Pro?
Dillon Watts
That's a good question... good freaking question, Sharon.
Diana Watts
I would say...
Dillon Watts
GOOD! QUESTION! Diana, hun. You got this...
Diana Watts
Dad. Please. Shut up. Um, Sharon. I believe I do. And I am aware of the talent landscape is large in MGP. But as I am still learning my craft and skill inside the ring, I think in time I can be a strong ingredient in the Black Dahlia Legacy stew...
Sharon Lee
Stew, huh? Interesting...
Diana Watts
Um... it doesn't have to be a stew... bologna-potato hash?
Dillon Watts upsettingly spits out his beer.
Oh god. Ohhhhh god. You blew it, Diana. SHould have said an ingredient in the hidden masterpiece recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken skins...
Diana Watts
Um, Miss Lee, can I change my answer to KFC skins?
Dillon Watts (panicking)
GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE, SHARON! WE WILL DO ANYTHING! I WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU! I WILL LET YOU DO THINGS TO ME! INSIDE ME! PLEASE....
Sharon Lee
No, no. It's fine... um... stew is fine...
Dillon and Diana look relieved.
Diana Watts
Close one...
Dillon Watts
I nearly pissed myself there...
Diana Watts
Dad, don't be crude. But same here...
Sharon Lee
Um... last question, Miss Watts. Ms Endo is very serious about this faction. You wouldn't do anything bizarre in the way of comedy or humor to embarrass us, right?
Diana and her father go quiet for a second.
Diana Watts
Comedy? Humor? Never. I am strictly business, ma'am. I promise. 100% serious. Always...
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! WHOO WHOO WHOO! by Baha Men plays from Diana's cell phone ring tone. She quickly grabs it and answers it.
Diana Watts
Excuse me, Sharon. Sorry about this... Um... Hello?
It's her father on the other end.
Dillon Watts
Should we abort? I think she's on to us... we botched this one. We botched it... abort, abort...
Diana Watts
Ssssshh, dad. She can hear everything we're saying... be cool. We got this... remember the horrible things you've done in the Vietnam war? I remember the stories you would tell me when you put me to bed as a young girl. You'd tell me things like 'We used dead babies as kindling.' or 'how you held your best good friend Bubba in your arms as he died.' We can handle a tour of Japan, dad if you lived through that we can do this...
Dillon Watts
Yeeeeah... about those stories...
Diana Watts
What about them?
Dillon Watts
Those are from movies, hun. I kind of pretended they were my own stories but they weren't true. I wasn't old enough to go to Vietnam war. All that is from Tom Hanks movies...
Diana Watts
What about you being a shrimp boat captain? And showing your ass to President Ford? Or.. or.. the time you were a cop and forced to be partners with a pit-bull?
Dillon Watts
Ugh... those are things Tom Hanks did. I did almost win 500 dollars for eating 4 pounds of shrimp in an hour...
Diana Watts
No that wasn't you, that was some local old Mexican guy.
Dillon Watts
Pedro did do that didn't he? Dammit...
Sharon Lee looks on confused as the two talk on the phone with their backs to the cam.
Sharon Lee
Um, Watts'? Is everything ok?
Diana Watts turns around turning off her phone.
Diana Watts
Um, sorry about that. It was my doctor. Dr. Phil McGraw.
Sharon Lee
The American television personality?
Diana Watts
Oh... you've seen it? Um, Dr... Tim... McGraw?
Dillon Watts turns around too facing the cam again.
Dillon Watts
Sorry about that, ladies. Had to make an emergency phone call. Turns out I have the dirty aids. And my lawyer, Mr. Denzel Washington is gonna go into a court battle for me to get what I earned!
Dillon winks into the camera. Diana sighs.
Diana Watts
Dad... we can all see you winking.
Dillon Watts
DAMMIT!
Sharon Lee
I think I have enough here. Good luck in Japan, Miss Watts. Ms. Endo will be watching very closely to your Straight On Til Morning dark match. I am sure she will be very pleased to have you in her faction. Well... I hope she is pleased anyway. I wouldn't want to be on her bad side.
Sharon laughs.
Sharon Lee
Take care and good luck, Diana. Bye.
Sharon ends her call. Diana and Dillon look relieved for it to be over.
Dillon Watts
THAT! Was a close one, hun.
Diana Watts
You're telling me. I almost peed myself again...
Dillon Watts
Almost? Hell my pants are soaked right. This Sayaka Endo leader woman seems fierce. Fierce enough to make me piss myself.
Diana Watts
It might be the beer too, dad.
Dillon Watts chugging another bottle down.
Dillon Watts
Doubtful. So... wanna celebrate? KFC? I will sneak in my booze in a Mountain Dew bottle like the old days.
Diana Watts (smiles)
You know what? I'd love too. Just... change your pants and maybe shower too first. I'll pick you up in like 40 minutes... we can discuss the trip to Japan...
Dillon Watts (smiles)
I'd like that very much... and Diana..
Diana Watts
I know, dad. I love you too.
Dillon Watts
No... put some make up on, sweetie. You don't wanna look like a turnip do you? See you soon.
Diana frowns as the video call feed ends.