How The Watts' Met the Hiroshi's (CD Piece)

[Diana Watts]

///OOC: Was bored and felt like writing something silly that would just take up space in a future RP. So i thought i'd post it in the CD section. Read if you have a few minutes to kill. No big deal.


HOW THE WATTS’ MET THE HIROSHI’S

Upon signing with Miracle Galaxy Pro, Diana and her father Dillon Watts knew they would be spending the majority of their time in Japan. A place they were unfamiliar with. For Diana, wrestling with some of the top tier talent in Japan was a chance to develop her in ring skills and see the beautiful land she had only seen in the movies. Only to be disappointed that she hadn’t run into Tom Cruise as of yet. (she’s a big Last Samurai fan. Also Cocktail.). For her father, Dillon Watts, he had only thought of Japan as if it were a whole other foreign country. Which in fact it was. This was going to be an adventure for the father and daughter duo.



Dillon Watts made arrangements to stay with a local Japanese elderly couple, Mr. and Mrs. Hiroshi. Mr. Hiroshi was a retired factory worker and Mrs. Hiroshi was a retired school teacher. They used their large house as a bed and breakfast for tourists. Though Dillon’s proposition of renting them and their home was a bit unusual, they could use the money to fund one of their dream ventures. The dream was unknown to us and the Watts’. But it was close to their heart whatever it was.



As Diana approaches her MGP Ronin Championship shot in the Cluster Match at MGP’s Let’s Go! She agreed to sit down with us at WrestleFartz.org to explain her living situation in Japan and living with her father and the Hiroshi’s.



WrestleFartz: Diana Watts, Dillon Watts… um… Mr. and Mrs. Hiroshi. Thanks for giving us time for this chat. Much appreciated.



Diana Watts: It’s cool. Thanks for having us.



Dillon Watts: As the kids say, it’s COOL BEANS!



Mr. Hiroshi<Japanese>: He doesn’t know what he’s talking about…



Mrs. Hiroshi<Japanese>: Sshhh. I’m just wondering why Diana-san is wearing one of your shirts, dear?



Mr. Hiroshi<Japanese>: I do not know. She just started wearing my things lately… even my underwear. I think she has a bear of my boxers under her nylons.



Mrs. Hiroshi<Japanese>: Funny I think her father stole one of my bras from my drawer. Look close. He's wearing it now. Very strange family these two. Money is good though…



Dillon begins laughing at the couples back and forth.


Dillon Watts: HA! Look at them go. Chatty chatter-sons those two. Not to sound prejudiced but it’s like they don’t even speak American at all…



Diana Watts: Dad don’t be rude. We know they speak and understand American. They always laugh at my jokes. Look. Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Hiroshi. Listen to this…



Diana begins chuckling before telling the joke.



Diana Watts: Why is air a lot like sex? Because *laughs* because it’s no big deal unless… wait… I messed up… it’s no big deal if you aren’t getting any… wait… I’ll try again… wait…



Mr. and Mrs. Hiroshi begin laughing quietly to themselves. Diana smiles.



Mrs. Hiroshi: Very good Diana! <Japanese> She SO stupid, dear. So stupid!



Mr. Hiroshi<Japanese>: It’s shocking… <English> Yes! Very! GOOOOOD, Diana-san!!



Dillon Watts: Good one, hun. My Diana should be on the TV!



Diana Watts: Well… I am. I am on PPV next Sunday.



WrestleFartz: Ok. So how did you four meet?



Diana Watts: Well we were looking for a place as you know in Japan… we went into this local Japanese bed and breakfast… it was the Hiroshi’s



Dillon Watts: We ended up there because I blew out my knee skipping like a munchkin from Wizard of Ooze down the street.



Diana Watts: Oz…



Dillon Watts: I was in Awe too, hun. I always do that routine. Just that day I was in my cowboy boots and you know what that means?



WrestleFartz: No… what does it mean?



Dillon Watts: A blown out knee. Duh.



Diana Watts: Thought that was fairly obvious. Anyway, we’re in this place using a bag of mixed veggies to cool down his knee.



Mr. Hiroshi<Japanese>: They didn’t even use a frozen bag. Very confusing.



Dillon Watts: Look! He talks so fast. I love it! Any-who. We put the room temperature vegetables on my knee and told my Diana to look in Hiroshi's freezer for some aspirin.



Diana Watts: They didn’t have any. But I found these bowls of mints on the counter. And I heard about this placebo effect in an audio book once. I thought my dad wouldn’t know the difference. I knew he wouldn’t. Back at home in the States, mom couldn’t keep a pill in the house. He’d pop anything he saw… as he is prone to headaches. And even he didn’t notice until he started choking on the mints.



Dillon Watts: That’s my Diana. Always the prankster. After coughing and vomiting up the mints all over myself. Mr. and Mrs. Hiroshi politely asked us to leave. That’s when I asked them the question. And that question was… where was the dumper? As I had crab cakes earlier that day and may have gotten food poisoning. I needed to go bad. So I limped to the washroom as fast as I could. You know… to avoid a mess. After that I took 5-6 mints to settle my stomach and we got down to business.



Diana Watts: He may not look it. Or act it. Or… Or smell like it. But my father is a hell of a good negotiator.



Dillon Watts: Yep… a big Kevin Spacey fan here. Love that movie. That guy can never do anything wrong in my book. I wish I was a younger boy again so I could relive Kevin Spacey for all he’s worth.



WrestleFartz: What an odd thing to say…



Diana Watts: Well if you take the word ODD and put the letter O in the middle of the two D’s you get DOD. Which sounds like DAD.



Dillon Watts: DOD! DOD! DOD! Wow, that’s really clever hun. Turning a negative into a positive. That’s my girl. No wonder she’s going to be the MGP Ronin Champ after next week.



Diana smiles.



Diana Watts: Thanks… DOD!



Dillon Watts: No, thank you DOD-ter…



The two share a laugh as the Hiroshi’s shake their heads in embarrassment.



Mr. Hiroshi: Mr. Watts told us he want to stay when they were in Japan for Diana-sans wrestling. We were nervous at first. But we took the money and welcome Watts’ with open arms. <Japanese> To be honest we were wanting to write a book about stupid Americans. And this was too hard to pass up. These two were perfect.



Mrs. Hiroshi: Perfect it was. We love Watts’ like we love each other.



Mr. and Mrs. Hiroshi kisses each other's cheeks. As Dillon applauds this affection while whistling.



Dillon Watts: See… that’s sweet… get a room you two. Hell you can stay in my room back at the house as long as I can watch!



Diana Watts: Don’t be gross, dad. But we are very thankful they let us stay with them. We’ve already had our ups and downs. A few arguments.



Dillon Watts: Just a few misunderstandings. Every relationship has its rough patch. Like your mothers problem with my drinking. We got through that didn’t we? After her third suicide attempt I switched to mainly beer and wine coolers. And I am a better man because of it.



Mrs Hiroshi<Japanese> He drank all my Sake last week. And go berserk.



Dillon looks at Mrs. Hiroshi suspiciously.



Dillon Watts: You didn’t just tell them about the Sake night, did you?



Mr. Hiroshi<Japanese>: He scared my wife while I was out for groceries. He broke the plates and cups while yelling something about the ‘JFK No Bullet Theory.’ He is an idiot.



Diana reacts hearing JFK muttered.



Diana Watts: Did Mr. Hiroshi takes the claim of my dad’s no bullet theory? Because it’s my dads. All my fathers. Dadbelieves there was no bullet used in the killing of John F Kennedy in the 60s. His head just ‘did that!’



Dillon motions his head as if he was JFK on that day. Diana and Dillon both nod at each other as if they shocked the interviewer. They didn’t.



Mrs. Hiroshi<Japanese> Idiots. But money is American so we deal with them. Even in the morning they came home with blood all over their torn clothing.



WrestleFartz: Blood on their clothing… what happened?



Dillon Watts: Oh no. Not THIS again!



Diana Watts laughs.



Diana Watts: Dad and I got blackout drunk last week. You know, celebrating our success and future in Miracle Galaxy Pro.



Dillon Watts: Proud of this little lady over here.



Diana Watts: We turned up at 7am, early in the morning our clothes disheveled and covered in speckles of blood.



Dillon Watts: Mrs. Hiroshi would yell at us in broken English holding up a newspaper with a headline about another dead body found in a storm drain. And ask us ‘did you two do this?’



Diana Watts: We’d laugh and shrug our shoulders and say ‘I really don’t know’ because we didn’t know. We assured the Hiroshi’s as dad played with the knives that they had nothing to worry about. The Watts’ were cool. Cool BEANS! Right, dad…



Dillon Watts nods with a mouthful of mints.



Mr. Hiroshi<Japanese>: Maybe it’s not enough money, sweetheart?



Dillon Watts: The language barrier here is adorable. Love it!



WrestleFartz: Well that’s all the time we have for our Youtube channel. Thank you Diana and good luck next Sunday.



Diana Watts: But I didn't get to talk about my match or the Black Dahlia Legacy. What a rip off… we can pay for another five minutes… Dad get that prepaid visa card out…



The scene fades to black as the film crew rush out of the scene as the WrestleFartz.org logo appears.


End scene.